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Examining Someone’s Sweater Somewhere Lifeproof

I just said it: I’m a mess. The other night I was watching TV, I was having a cookie, and I realized there was a chocolate stain all over my new sweatshirt. It is not a rare occurrence. Kimchi juice, red sauce, splash of coffee, pretty much any stain, I made it. And so, when I discovered a sweater that was supposed to be stain resistant, I thought, who better than me to put it to the test?

I started to wear it like any other sweater. I was waiting for my inevitable first spill and / or splash, but it wouldn’t come – a supervised pot never boils and a sweater you want to stain never stains (?). During this time, I reveled in the comfort of the sweater and its surprisingly normal look and feel for a sweater with supposed superpowers. Since I hadn’t had the chance to test this power, I eagerly decided to create my own risky situation. That night, I made some red pasta sauce, and I idly stopped on the pot, waiting for gurgles to splash stains of red all over the place and finally ruin this sweater once and for all. When the sauce started to boil, stains popped out of the pan and clung to the sweater like droplets on a raincoat. Before they could skid on the floor I wiped them off with a paper towel and just like that they were gone, not a trace to be found. The next morning, I went further: I held the sweater over the sink and poured my coffee directly on it. Take this sweater, I laughed maniacally. But instead of absorbing into the threads, the coffee ricocheted, sliding gracefully down the sink and down the drain, forever. I was foiled, beaten by a sweater. And even more surprisingly, the sweater didn’t even smell of coffee (or myself) after a week of wearing it.

I don’t really know how the magic trick works. It is a combination of waterproofing technology and antimicrobial treatment. As if that weren’t enough, Someone Somewhere, the brand behind this magical sweater, comes from local artisans in Puebla and Chiapas, Mexico, to make these unique sweaters. It’s something nice, something special, that is virtually impossible to ruin. Believe me, I tried.

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