As the nation is in a burst of laughter that may never end after the Trump campaign press conference was held, through a hot potato incompetence game, not at the posh hotel Four Seasons of Philadelphia, but at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot next to a porn store, it was fitting that Kate McKinnon’s Rudy Giuliani would make a stop at the Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” office.
“Did you see my press conference today?” McKinnon’s Giuliani hosted Colin Jost, Co-Host of Update. “It was at the Four Seasons. Fancy!”
“I’m glad I was on time for the show,” he continued. “I went to 30 Rocks first. It is a granite quarry in New Rochelle.
Neither artist was able to keep a straight face throughout the conversation, which is forgivable as it might not be possible to do anything other than burst into laughter reflexively regarding the topic. from the Trump campaign damage control press conference, accidentally booked in the parking lot of a landscaping company. .
Grasping the widely held truth that there is no discernible or enduring legal strategy put in place by Trump’s crack team, Jost asked Giuliani what he had up his sleeve. Throw away the ballots, for one, he said, thinking to himself, “These ballots could come from March!” (This is not a purely scripted joke for SNL. Giuliani really said that.) “If the name is Meep Thorp Xandar and the address is Mars, we’re going to have these rejected ballots.”
Then there is the question, he says, of whether the ballots are even ballots, and not, say, tortillas. The plan: eat them and find out. “If my ass blows after eating it, you know it’s a tortilla.”
Hooked on the week-long theme that none of these strategies are tenable, Jost asked what the real legal remedy was. “In Michigan, we demanded a recount. In Wisconsin, we demanded a count. We called backsies in Nevada, we got security in Arizona and Georgia: Opposite Day. Also, we’re going to require me to do the recount personally and our silver bullet is: I can’t count very high.
There is also the issue of pollsters, whom Giuliani accused of being paid to lie to the American people. He claimed first-hand experience in the matter. “They always say, ‘Hey baby, I’m cinnamon. My real name is Brittany. Hush, don’t tell them I told you. After a moment, Giuliani exploded: “And then you find out her name isn’t Brittany!” “
If all else fails and Trump can no longer secure the White House, Giuliani explained that he would return to his hometown of New York. Not even the New Yorkers who threw lettuce at him off-screen at the mere mention of the return had curbed his illusion: “That famous New York lettuce!” he savored.
The highlight of the “Weekend Update” came in the midst of a highly anticipated episode of SNL. Aired the same night, Joe Biden was finally set to defeat Donald Trump and just hours after the newly elected president’s victory speech in Delaware began with a stack, having Alec Baldwin as president sit at the piano and sing a sad , defeated version of his campaign hymn, “Macho Man” by the villagers.
Dave Chappelle, returning to host four years after holding the same honor in the first episode following the 2016 election, delivered a bait monologue on standards and practices that was a sermon on mortality and nationwide conscience as much as it was a comedy about race, COVID, and Trump’s mental capacity.
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