Looks like the most boring tourist in Paris won’t make an offer to the city “goodbye“just now. On Wednesday, Netflix announced that it had renewed Emily in Paris for a second season – just over a month after its surprisingly controversial premiere. (What can we say? Algorithms don’t differentiate between those who watch and those who hate watching.)
But what is Emily make for 10 more episodes in good old Paree? After all, she’s already become a social media star overnight thanks to brilliant phrases like “#OhCrepe”, had an affair with one of her only Parisian boyfriends, befriended someone who has bombed Chinese popstar, and loved herself to one of the most influential designers in France with a Gossip Girl reference! What more can the city offer to top it off?
Lucky for those of you who just can’t wait, The Daily Beast can now report that we have found these completely real and not at all fabricated plot summaries to help you. Some of these ideas seem a little avant-garde, But hi! Who are we to challenge the creative brilliance of Darren Star – who, it bears repeating, is certainly the one who wrote them.
Episode 1, “Eau My God”: Eager to ignore Camille’s increasingly frantic texts, Emily wraps 23 baguettes in a pouch and invites Gabriel to come and swim with her in the Seine. He tells her it’s not a thing, so she spends the day taking selfies in front of the Louvre pyramid and letting people know about her belief that its designers ripped the Apple Cube out of Manhattan.
Episode 2, “Let’s Go, Gen-Z!”: Sylvie locks Emily in the basement after hijacking a meeting to present her 34-slide presentation on why Savoir needs a TikTok. Two hours later, she’s forced to let Emily out when her French pronoun dancing video inexplicably goes viral.
Episode 3, “French release”: Ashley loses her two au pairs. Emily is too busy finding “croissant” word games to help find them.
Episode 4, “Ménage à Trois”: Camille finally tracks down Emily and Gabriel after days of ignored texts. When they confess their date, Camille slightly shrugs her shoulders, whispers “It’s life,»And suggests a throuple. Gabriel is inside; Emily is not.
Episode 5, “Freedom, Equality, Lingerie”: Emily only comes to work to find that all the men she has met in Paris have decided to send her a set of La Perla lingerie.
Episode 6, “French school dropout”: Concerned that Emily has now been attending her French course for several months but has only remembered a few stray words and the phrase “I am a black cat,Emily’s French teacher suggests that she see a neurologist. Emily informs him that she also knows “I eat an apple.“
Episode 7, “No Smoking”: Emily tries a cigarette and doesn’t like it.
Episode 8, “Exit Through the Gift Shop”: Mathieu calls Emily to remind her that he too exists on this show as a love for her, for some reason. Emily misses the call after being arrested in the catacombs holding a human skull, insisting to police that she had no idea the bones weren’t replicas of memories.
Episode 9, “The Breakup”: Gabriel throws Emily out and walks out of his apartment with his precious cast iron skillet after spending an hour trying to convince him that marketing is worthwhile. Camille is too busy tasting wine with her sexier new boyfriend who really likes her mom to answer their calls. Gabriel and Emily get back together the same evening.
Episode 10, “Coup de Grâce”: Emily faces a defamation lawsuit from the city of Chicago after disrespecting legendary deep-dish restaurant Lou Malnati. Between that and the arrest of the Catacombs, Sylvie finally has enough ammunition to shoot this odious upstart once and for all. She silently smokes a cigarette and smiles as Emily packs up her corporate commands and leaves.
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